Now that I have been in Italy for three months, my feelings and experiences have shifted a lot. There have been moments when I wished I could go home, moments when I resisted everything, and moments when I questioned my decision to come here at all. All of these feelings are completely normal, and in the end, they are also beautiful.

Lately, I have finally let go of that resistance. I feel deeply good being here, for many different reasons. Being here has felt like a long journey into my own heart. When you are far from the everyday life that once felt so familiar, you naturally end up facing your own values and dreams.

I have been a dreamer since I was a child. One day I stopped and realised that I am actually sitting inside the dreams that once felt too big to ever be real. Am I sitting in answered prayers?

To feel good here, it has been important for me to keep a positive mind. It is unbelievable how much that matters. That is why I started writing a gratitude journal. It reminds me of the small things that make me happy.

One evening I was getting ready for bed when I noticed how soft my bedsheets felt. I touched them with my fingers and wondered how I had not noticed it before. The sheets are made of natural fibres, and I love things like that. Our sheets are changed every Friday, and it feels almost wild to receive that kind of care. It is a small thing, but it made me truly grateful.

Since I live here only for a certain time, I have not bought big decorations, but I have created a sense of home with small details. I love art, and one day I found a “free to take” box with a French book full of drawings. I do not understand the language, but the pictures fit perfectly with my aesthetic. I made large collages from them above my bed and at the office. Small pictures created a big artwork. It feels like home.

Here, it feels like happiness is on my side. I am naturally a dreamer, and I love to romanticize life. I love walking in beautiful parks with a warm drink, talking on the phone with a friend, and simply observing people. When I am alone, I feel the safest. No one judges me, and I can simply be with myself. Those moments when I do things that bring me joy feel deeply valuable. I am endlessly grateful for them.

I love beauty and harmony, and I have built my dreams around them. For me, beauty is much more than appearance. It is soulfulness, authenticity, presence, simplicity, and a sense of safety.

Sometimes I think about what I want to do in the future, just like any other person in their twenties. I want to be accepting, kind, present, balanced, considerate, and happy. I want my thoughts, body, and mind to feel aligned. I want to live according to my values and stand confidently behind my opinions. I dream of surrounding myself with nature, beauty, wholesome food, and a soulful home.

I dream of people around me who laugh and love. I dream of balance. I dream of a home that feels like me. I do not yet know what profession I want. Maybe I want to work with people in nature. Maybe I want to be creative and free.

When I think about how my current choices lead me toward that dream, I realise that moving to a new country gave me a chance to start fresh. My dreams have been the same for a long time, but turning them into reality has felt challenging. Here, far from home, I can focus on my growth without distraction.

Being a volunteer gives me a break from many responsibilities I would normally have. My financial expenses are mostly covered, and although I still have responsibilities, I also have a lot of freedom. I am incredibly grateful for that.

When I think of my future self, I think of how her life feels and how it feels in her body. Sometimes I feel that future happiness already, as if it was part of my current reality. I make small choices she would make. If she would choose evening yoga and journaling, then my present self chooses that too.

In short, if I want to become a certain kind of person, I build her gently, day by day. I live my dream already, if I decide to.

Being here in Milan, surrounded by beauty, I realise that I am creating my dream day by day.

whit love,

Emmi